When Stories Speak Louder Than Words: Rethinking Leadership Presence
When Communication Breaks Down
Ever been in a meeting where someone…
Floods you with detail,
Responds with one-word answers,
Withdraws into silence, or
Comes out swinging with an attack?
These aren’t just behaviors. They’re signs. Signals that the person isn’t simply reacting to the situation, they’re reacting to the story they’ve told themselves about it.
Stories and Styles Go Hand-in-Hand
The way we communicate is often driven by an inner narrative:
“They don’t respect me.” → leads to attack.
“I’m not ready.” → leads to silence.
“They should already know.” → leads to one-word answers.
“If I don’t explain everything, I’ll be misunderstood.” → leads to flooding with detail.
When we notice these patterns, we gain an opportunity—not just to change our style, but to rewrite the story that fuels it.
The Insight: Style Awareness + Story Mastery
Leadership effectiveness depends on recognizing both communication style and story awareness. Together, they form a complete picture:
Style Awareness gives us clues about how stress or misalignment is showing up.
Story Awareness gives us clarity about the assumptions fueling those behaviors.
One without the other leaves gaps. But when leaders combine them, they unlock an advanced level of emotional intelligence—able to decode both what they say and why they say it.
The 3 Steps to Reset the Conversation
Here’s a simple framework to move from reaction to clarity:
Spot – Notice the signs (silence, attack, etc.).
Pause – Step back before responding.
Reframe – Ask: What’s the story I’m telling myself? Is there another perspective?
This doesn’t just shift the conversation—it resets the relationship.
Why Style Awareness Matters
When leaders become aware of both their communication style and the stories that drive it, they unlock emotional intelligence in action.
They catch assumptions before they calcify.
They repair trust before it erodes.
They model courage by reframing out loud.
The result? Healthier teams, stronger relationships, and more resilient leadership.
Your Toolkit for Change
This September, I'll introduce the Master Your Story Cards, a tool to help leaders quickly pause, reflect, and reset their inner narrative. Pairing this with communication style awareness creates a powerful toolkit:
Recognize the signs
Pause before reacting
Reframe the story
Adjust your style
Leadership isn’t about silencing the inner voice. It’s about mastering the story behind it—so your words and actions align with the leader you want to be.
🃏 Ready to dive deeper? Grab the Master Your Story Activity Deck: 33 cards, 5 activities, countless breakthroughs. One deck. Endless growth.
👉 Get your deck here: https://www.justiceleadership.com/store/p/master-your-story-cards
👉 What story do you most often tell yourself that isn't always true?